Just being grateful!

Today is Wednesday, our second week of winter vacation. I'm sitting at home on the couch, listening to Carson and Max play Monopoly with Mori. Calvin went to Disneyland at the last minute this morning with my mom and my sister and her family. I'm sick. Carson's sick, too. We went to my sister's on Sunday and she was sick. I think we brought some of her germs home with us. I've been feeling bad since Monday night. Lightheaded, tons of congestion, sore throat, etc. I HATE being sick! Ever since I've had kids, I get sick all of the time. I get sick from them and we pass it around to each other. I get sick from everyone! It's funny, but being sick so often has made me so grateful for my health. I'm not dying and I always recover, but it makes me appreciate when I'm normal and healthy. I sit here and think about all of the things that I could be doing. I still take care of the kids and cook and clean as little as possible, but of course it's not the same. I actually want to vacuum, sweep, do more laundry, mow the lawn, etc. Crazy, huh? It's freezing outside and I wish that I could go out there and watch the kids ride their scooters and laugh and have fun.

I miss Calvin so much already. I'm usually with my boys 24/7. I wake them up, get them ready for school and pick them up from school. I am with them all evening doing homework, running errands, going to play practice and sports practices. I put them to bed and do it all over again, just like every other parent. I'm used to stuffing tissues in their pockets each morning and making them put Chapstick on so they don't get chapped lips. I worry about them all day long and hope that their teachers are taking care of them as much as I take care of and worry about the kids in the classroom that I work in. Of course I'm crying now. Lol. My boys are my life. They are the reason that I live and breathe.

I guess I'm feeling so beyond grateful right now because I just finished watch a movie called Incendiary on Netflix. I couldn't sleep while the boys were napping so I got up to watch a movie on the laptop. I even put on Max's headphones and felt like I was in my own little movie world for a while. Lol. That doesn't usually happen in a house full of 3 very loud boys! Someone is usually fighting or yelling (or I'm the one yelling!) So, in this movie, a mom has a 4 year old son that gets killed in an explosion with more than 1000 other people. It was painful watching her grieve for her son. She missed him so much. She imagined him everywhere. I cried when she cried. I imagined losing one of my sons and not being able to hear their voice each day, not being able to touch them, smell them, hold them, even yell at them. It was so very sad. I can't even imagine those parents who have lost a child. How do you even manage to go on without them?

It makes me think of all of those small children in CT that were just killed. Their poor parents. Here I am in my warm house watching my boys laugh and be silly. Mori told Carson that his "hood" just upgraded, talking about his Monopoly properties, and Carson said, "Now there's guns in the hood?" Lol. I love hearing their thoughts out loud. Carson starting humming a Christmas song so I just turned on our Christmas station on Pandora. We have so much to be thankful for! I have healthy kids, my son is on every kids dream vacation thanks to my sister, her husband and my mom. I have a close family that supports me every day. I have a job that I love. We have just enough to live with a little extra sometimes to play. We are free. We are together. How quick we are to forget exactly how much we DO have until we lose something, which for me right now is my health.

I go to church. I believe in God and his son, Jesus Christ. I know where I came from and why I'm here on earth. I know where I am going after I die and I know how I can be with my family forever. I can't imagine leaving this life and not spending eternity with them. As usual, thinking of my blessings in life makes me think of who is giving me those blessings, our Father in Heaven and his Son, Jesus Christ. I wish that everyone had the peace that I have knowing that they love each one of us and want to hear from us. If nothing else good came from me meeting Mori in 2000, at least I learned about the gospel of Jesus Christ and have 3 beautiful children! I'm kidding! I'm sure I've gotten more out of him than that! He takes out the trash sometimes! Lol.

I hope that all of my friends are happy and peaceful. It's a new year! We are alive and here! Let's make the best of it and be thankful for all that we have. There are so many people who don't have clean drinking water. People are killed and tortured each day in other cities/countries. People are losing loved ones daily. Let's celebrate life. Of course I'll still be tired, I'll still complain about what I don't have, I'll still be yelling at the kids and they'll be stressing me out daily.......but at least we'll have the memories of love. I think that with having kids, they're 80% stress and hard work and 20% happiness. It's amazing how that small 20% of happiness makes the stress all worth it. I wouldn't change my life for anything, unless I was able to win the lottery!

Happy New Year people! I'm signing off to enjoy the boys! Here are just a few pics of the important people in my life that I have saved on the laptop.