If you give a pig a pancake.....

Tonight Marquesa and I came back from the store. We had gone into Lucky's and shopped in peace and quiet since the kids were at home. When we got home, we put the groceries away and I checked in on the boys. They were all in bed, but still awake. Calvin had been reading If you give a pig a pancake and had it laying on the bed. I picked it up to put it away, then decided to read it to him instead. I LOVE those books. If you give a moose a muffin, If you give a mouse a cookie, If you give a pig a pancake, etc.  I think there are about 6 of them. Anyhow, I HAD to go into the boys room and read it to Carson and Maxwell, too.

When I was done reading it, Carson told me "Hey mom, it started with a pancake and syrup and ended with a pancake and syrup!" I reminded him that's how all of the books are. I told him that a lot of times in life, we do things like that book. For instance, after I tucked them in tonight, I got on the computer to take care of some emails and look up information on the internet. I turned on Pandora and got to listen to some nice music. First it was Today's Hits, then Taylor Swift, then Louie Armstrong, Billie Holiday, and a few other old school artists. I started thinking about how when I hear certain songs, it reminds me of where I was in life. Push It by Salt-N-Pepa reminds me of an 8th grade??? school dance that I went to in Antioch with my friend, Kellee Hill (Tadiello, now.) Totally random, but it does!! Lol.

As I was listening to different music, I started thinking of a church cd that I had a couple of years ago. I LOVED that cd!!! It reminded me of the boys and I driving in our van, singing this one song on the cd. It was such a sad song. I cried every time I heard it. Even the boys knew a lot of the words. I remember talking to them about how a long time ago, pioneers used to walk from state to state looking for a place to live. They were hungry, tired, sick, and they watched their family members die. I try to talk to the boys and teach them things whenever I can (that means when I'm not yelling at them and when they're not fighting and when we're not in a hurry, etc........so it doesn't happen too often!!) Lol.

Anyhow, yesterday I heard something that reminded me of that song. I thought about it briefly but couldn't remember details about it. Tonight, I thought of it again while I was on the computer and started looking for it online. I could only remember a couple of words and kept on googling it until FINALLY I found it!!! It's called Prayer of The Walking Child by Dave Tinney. The entire cd is beautiful, but that was my favorite song. I looked it up on Amazon and was about to order it, then I remembered that my sister has a super VIP Amazon account on steroids (which is probably the same account that everyone else has, but since I don't order from there, I went to the pro!)
Otherwise, I would be paying for shipping and would be waiting 4-14 days for the cd to arrive.

That sounds like torture when you're waiting for something, so I texted her at 10:30 and asked if she could order it for me. BTW, that's the usual time that we chat. It's funny cause we are usually up late and don't get a chance to take care of business or think about things until our kids are all asleep. That's when we do cleaning, preparing, FB'ing, etc. Most of the time when I bother her late at night, she's up too! Love you sister! So, she said that she would order it for me and now I feel like I'm waiting for Christmas!

During the hour that I've been sitting here at the computer, I've been listening to music and thinking about so many things. It's funny how music helps you do that. It helps you feel and remember so many different emotions. Being so busy all of the time with the boys, I don't get much time to listen to music. We wake up, get ready for the day, there's plenty of yelling and fighting sprinkled in along the way. Off to work and school, pick them up after school, more sprinkles of yelling and fighting, maybe a few drops of happiness, too. Lol. Before, we were busy with football. That ended and we had the boys school play. That ended and now we have baseball. In between, the boys have Ukulele club after school on Wednesdays and Scouts when we can make it there on Tuesdays. They work out/practice with their dad whenever they can fit that in. Let's not forget our errands, trips to the store, etc. I feel like we are always in a hurry.

My little beaners a few years ago. Awwww!

The few days that we don't have plans, it's nice to let them play outside and enjoy just being kids. The cool part for me is that I used to play outside this very same house when I was growing up. I used to climb the trees in the front yard with my brother and sister. My kids go to the same school that I went to. Some of their neighborhood friends are kids of the kids that I used to see when I was growing up. Pretty cool if you ask me! So now you see how one thing can lead to another and another, just like the book that Calvin was reading. I sat here and thought about so many things that kept leading to others. I'm sure everyone's life is like that, though. While I was thinking about the book, it reminded me of my blog IF YOU GIVE A MOM A BLOG, which I named after the books. Lol. I figured since I had time, I'd sit down and throw my life out there to the world again.

I was talking to Marquesa tonight about different things and we talked a little about how we have so many things to be grateful for. There are so many people that don't have food, families, parents who care about them, clean water, warm clothes, etc. I don't have much at all. I'm stressed out, broke, tired and unhealthy.....just like most everyone else. I don't pretend that my life is perfect or better than anyone else's. I just try to stay positive and enjoy what I DO have. I feel like I don't say I LOVE YOU enough to my family, especially my mom. I miss my dad and my grandparents. I hope that I'm around to see my boys grow up and go on a church mission. I pray that I can see their smiles as they become young men and adults. I wonder if they'll love me as much then as they do now. Will they still want to snuggle with me and hug me?
A few months ago, my mom told me that when your kids grow up, you still love them just as much, but they're grown and on their own, so you don't get to take care of them in the same way. It made me think about how much she must miss her mom, my grandma Sara. It made me want to tell and show my mom just how much I DO love HER. I don't show her or tell her enough. I think about her all the time and fear the day when she won't be with us anymore. I think about when my boys will be grown up and too busy for me. That makes me so sad. They are my life and I can't imagine my days being filled up with anything else. Of course, I'm crying and crying and crying some more right now......listening to music that's helping all of my emotions come out. Lol. If tissue were money, I'd be rich!!!

So, it's late and I'm tired. I'm off to bed now. Tomorrow will be one day closer to our three day weekend where we can rest and enjoy some family time together. Make sure you spread the love and blessings that you have in your life. You never know who is needing it right now!

Night all. See what happens when you give a mom a blog???? She'll type your ear off!

Why do I cry so much?!?!?!

I can't even breathe! I have the worst hay fever, year round allergies, ever!!! For as long as I can remember, I've had horrible allergies. If I'm not blowing my nose from allergies, it's from being sick. For the past 10 years since I've had kids, I get sick so easily! If I'm not blowing my nose from allergies or being sick, it's from crying! I am such an emotional person. I cry at church when I feel the Spirit, I cry when I watch movies, I cry when I hear sad stories, I cry when I'm happy, etc. Tonight we watched Hachi, A Dog's Tale, and as usual I couldn't stop crying! The boys are so used to it by now. They always say, "Mom, are you crying AGAIN????" Lol.

In church today, our teacher played a movie showing what happened when Jesus Christ was beaten and crucified. Of course, I couldn't stop crying while I was watching it. Good thing I carry an entire box of tissue with me! A few people have told me over the years that crying and being emotional/sensitive to things like the Spirit of the Holy Ghost is a gift. I think I've heard it called the gift of weeping?? Anyways, sometimes it's irritating and kind of embarrassing, especially when I'm sobbing and other people are around. Usually it's in church and a beautiful song can set me off like a faucet! I LOVE music, especially church music where you can feel the Spirit and you can feel closer to our Savior. I can't sing AT ALL, but I sing at church! Sorry in advance if you have to sit next to me!!

I think the Christmas feeling is still with me. It's my favorite time of the year. Christmas lights and a tree. Hot chocolate, watching movies on the couch, caroling, gift giving, family time, doing service for others and especially remembering our Savior Jesus Christ in everything that we do. I've been thinking a lot lately about how blessed we are. I see homeless people and wonder how they got there, where their families are, etc. I tell the boys all of the time that we are so blessed to have a car that runs and takes us places when so many people are walking. We have a warm house and blankets to  keep us cozy while others are sleeping in freezing temperatures. I remind them about the kids who don't have families and are in group/foster homes, or the ones that are being "taken care of" by people that don't really care about them.

Working at a school, I'm surrounded by kids all day long. I see them with their parents, with their friends and by themselves. I see kids going to school without jackets when it's freezing cold outside. I see kids looking sad and lonely. I hear stories that make me love and appreciate my kids so much more. I also see kids laughing and playing and it makes me want to be with my boys. It's funny how much I miss them and want to be with them when they're away from me. I pick them up and automatically feel ok, normal, complete. And then the arguing begins! Lol.

I guess I'm just so grateful for what I have and I know it's all because of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and also for our Father in Heaven. Everything I have, I have because of them. Even the trials that I've been through in life have changed me for the better. They've caused me to learn and grow and become a stronger person, as much as it didn't seem like it at the time! Maybe Sundays are the days that I tend to blog more because I have so many great feelings from going to church. I'm there and just want to go home and change the world! Lol. Then I get home and the kids are fighting and I'm yelling and life goes back to normal.

If anyone wants to go to church with us, the invitation is ALWAYS open. This year, we meet at 9am at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints building. The address is 1432 Laurel Rd. in Oakley. Call me, text me, message me or just show up! There is no obligation to get baptized! I promise!!! Lol. I'm sure that you'll enjoy being there. What do you have to lose but a little bit of your time? Your kids will love visiting our Primary and you'll love our Sunday School and Relief Society.

Here's Jesus Christ knocking on your door. Are you going to answer and let him in?????
Join me!

I've gotta go so I can snuggle with the kids before bed time. We are all off tomorrow so we're staying up a little late tonight.

Good night everyone! Don't forget to count your blessings!

Just being grateful!

Today is Wednesday, our second week of winter vacation. I'm sitting at home on the couch, listening to Carson and Max play Monopoly with Mori. Calvin went to Disneyland at the last minute this morning with my mom and my sister and her family. I'm sick. Carson's sick, too. We went to my sister's on Sunday and she was sick. I think we brought some of her germs home with us. I've been feeling bad since Monday night. Lightheaded, tons of congestion, sore throat, etc. I HATE being sick! Ever since I've had kids, I get sick all of the time. I get sick from them and we pass it around to each other. I get sick from everyone! It's funny, but being sick so often has made me so grateful for my health. I'm not dying and I always recover, but it makes me appreciate when I'm normal and healthy. I sit here and think about all of the things that I could be doing. I still take care of the kids and cook and clean as little as possible, but of course it's not the same. I actually want to vacuum, sweep, do more laundry, mow the lawn, etc. Crazy, huh? It's freezing outside and I wish that I could go out there and watch the kids ride their scooters and laugh and have fun.

I miss Calvin so much already. I'm usually with my boys 24/7. I wake them up, get them ready for school and pick them up from school. I am with them all evening doing homework, running errands, going to play practice and sports practices. I put them to bed and do it all over again, just like every other parent. I'm used to stuffing tissues in their pockets each morning and making them put Chapstick on so they don't get chapped lips. I worry about them all day long and hope that their teachers are taking care of them as much as I take care of and worry about the kids in the classroom that I work in. Of course I'm crying now. Lol. My boys are my life. They are the reason that I live and breathe.

I guess I'm feeling so beyond grateful right now because I just finished watch a movie called Incendiary on Netflix. I couldn't sleep while the boys were napping so I got up to watch a movie on the laptop. I even put on Max's headphones and felt like I was in my own little movie world for a while. Lol. That doesn't usually happen in a house full of 3 very loud boys! Someone is usually fighting or yelling (or I'm the one yelling!) So, in this movie, a mom has a 4 year old son that gets killed in an explosion with more than 1000 other people. It was painful watching her grieve for her son. She missed him so much. She imagined him everywhere. I cried when she cried. I imagined losing one of my sons and not being able to hear their voice each day, not being able to touch them, smell them, hold them, even yell at them. It was so very sad. I can't even imagine those parents who have lost a child. How do you even manage to go on without them?

It makes me think of all of those small children in CT that were just killed. Their poor parents. Here I am in my warm house watching my boys laugh and be silly. Mori told Carson that his "hood" just upgraded, talking about his Monopoly properties, and Carson said, "Now there's guns in the hood?" Lol. I love hearing their thoughts out loud. Carson starting humming a Christmas song so I just turned on our Christmas station on Pandora. We have so much to be thankful for! I have healthy kids, my son is on every kids dream vacation thanks to my sister, her husband and my mom. I have a close family that supports me every day. I have a job that I love. We have just enough to live with a little extra sometimes to play. We are free. We are together. How quick we are to forget exactly how much we DO have until we lose something, which for me right now is my health.

I go to church. I believe in God and his son, Jesus Christ. I know where I came from and why I'm here on earth. I know where I am going after I die and I know how I can be with my family forever. I can't imagine leaving this life and not spending eternity with them. As usual, thinking of my blessings in life makes me think of who is giving me those blessings, our Father in Heaven and his Son, Jesus Christ. I wish that everyone had the peace that I have knowing that they love each one of us and want to hear from us. If nothing else good came from me meeting Mori in 2000, at least I learned about the gospel of Jesus Christ and have 3 beautiful children! I'm kidding! I'm sure I've gotten more out of him than that! He takes out the trash sometimes! Lol.

I hope that all of my friends are happy and peaceful. It's a new year! We are alive and here! Let's make the best of it and be thankful for all that we have. There are so many people who don't have clean drinking water. People are killed and tortured each day in other cities/countries. People are losing loved ones daily. Let's celebrate life. Of course I'll still be tired, I'll still complain about what I don't have, I'll still be yelling at the kids and they'll be stressing me out daily.......but at least we'll have the memories of love. I think that with having kids, they're 80% stress and hard work and 20% happiness. It's amazing how that small 20% of happiness makes the stress all worth it. I wouldn't change my life for anything, unless I was able to win the lottery!

Happy New Year people! I'm signing off to enjoy the boys! Here are just a few pics of the important people in my life that I have saved on the laptop.